Setting and Keeping Your Intentions in 2008 by Sunny Massad, Ph.D.

It’s a new year; a perfect opportunity to begin again. Some of us will get a slow start, some of us will sprint our way into it, but all of us will hope we manage to stay focused and balanced this year. The key is to make little changes that will make a big difference in your day-to-day routine. To help you get started, here are four intentions that can help get or keep you on track.

1. Cut Yourself Some Slack. When your best friends falter, you encourage them, you don’t beat them up. Learn to cultivate the same compassion for yourself! The number one reason for self sabotage is perfectionism. If you can’t do something perfectly, do it imperfectly. If you have a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month, acknowledge that you are off track and recommit to getting back ON track!

2. Coach Yourself. If you have a judge in your head who criticizes you for being indulgent, lazy or distracted from your true intentions, speak to that voice as though it were a nagging spouse: “Thanks for sharing, but you are wrong. I’m not lazy. I’m afraid of failing.” Then practice speaking to yourself more kindly by focusing on what you can do, one step at a time, to insure your success. Every time you catch yourself judging your own behavior, take a deep breath, apologize, and appreciate all that you have been doing right so you can then encourage yourself to keep on track.

3. Move Your Body. Moving every day is an essential aspect of keeping your energy high and your spirit soaring. If you can't bear the thought of hopping on the treadmill, take an invigorating walk on the beach or in the park, take a swim, jump on a mini trampoline while watching television, or turn on some music and dance! If you're crunched for time, break up your walking into ten to fifteen minutes before work, during lunch, while shopping or going to and from your car. Walk up escalators and stairs. There are plenty of opportunities to exercise and your body will reward you for your efforts!

4. Practice Self Kindness. You would take the dog out for a walk every day and insure that he had good food to eat. And if your friend were sick, you’d recommend they go to bed and cozy in until it passes. Practice doing at least that much for yourself! When you begin to take care of yourself at least as well as you take care of a dog or a best friend, you will feel whole and self contained.

Courses at the Hawaii Wellness Institute starting in January, 2008
LEARN TO INSPIRE YOURSELF AND OTHERS with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
If you are interested in learning how to inspire yourself, your children, your friends, or, if you are a manager, and would like to learn a counseling technique that is appropriate for use in the work environment, reserve a seat at this workshop. You will experience a demonstration of wellness counseling with a volunteer from the audience and then have an opportunity to counsel yourself. For those interested in our more in-depth Counselor Training (information below), this is the introductory class for that course.
Sunday, January 13
1:00pm-4:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
$35 ($40 after January 6)
Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

SUNNY MASSAD, PH.D., created and trademarked UnTherapy®, a conscious alternative to traditional psychology. She is also the President and Founder of the Hawaii Wellness Institute and runs a successful private practice as a wellness counselor at the Hawaii Wellness Retreat House. www.untherapy.com

UNTHERAPY FOR CHANGE (OR PROFIT): THE WELLNESS COUNSELOR CAREER TRAINING AND CERTIFICATION PROGRAM with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
This eight-week practicum in professional counseling is the popular alternative to therapy for emotionally healthy people simply looking to improve their motivational and disciplinary skills. You will learn practical coaching, consulting, and counseling proficiency by learning how to master the issues in your own life. Whether you want to become a certified wellness counselor specializing in personal development, peer counseling, and life coaching, or you simply want to experience self-acceptance and self-renewal, this course will change your life. Essays and applications will be accepted for this training until January 20. There is a $100 application fee. See the website or call 848-5544 for details.
8 Sundays, January 27 – March 16, 2008
10:00am-6:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
Tuition: $1,499 plus $100 Application Fee
Pre-registration Required: Register Online or call 848-5544

KICKSTART YOUR NEW BUSINESS AS A WELLNESS PRACTITIONER with Sunny Massad, Ph.D. This seven-week training is ideal for entrepreneurs in any wellness profession who want to start a business as a sole proprietor. This wellness practitioner professional development program is designed to support new wellness counselors or other practitioners to independently launch their careers without going broke. You will investigate and resolve your issues relating to: fears of success or failure, obstacles to commitment, earning your own income, whether to work at home or in an office, marketing on a shoestring budget. You will create your own marketing materials by the end of the semester. Applications will be accepted until January 20. See the website or call 848-5544 for details.
7 Wednesdays, January 30 – March 12, 2008
6:00pm - 8:30pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House.
Tuition: $899
Pre-registration Required: Register Online or call 848-5544

Inspiration is an Inside Job by Sunny Massad, Ph.D.

Everyone has hopes and ideas about how things will be in the future and how long it will take for each desire to be satisfied. And then life presents unexpected detours. Health degenerates, loved ones need assistance, natural disasters occur, egos clash and relationships sever…any number of mishaps can occur along the way. As John Lennon once said, “life is what happens when you’re making other plans.”

Buddhism claims that desire is the cause of all human suffering; that the very nature of wanting causes people to miss feeling fulfilled and at peace in the present. Once a person realizes the futility of chasing after the objects of desire, freedom reigns. This is not to say that you should not have objects of desire or that you should not aspire to attain them. Young people want to be older, poor people want to be richer, single people want to have partners, and on and on it goes. However, you need not sacrifice the quality of your present moment while you are preparing for the future. Planning is a useful and motivating activity as long as you can also remain flexible and maintain a sense of humor when plans are delayed, cancelled, or diverted. True inspiration results in being conscious and aware that your will is only as effective as circumstances allow it to be. If your financial security is threatened, your desire to buy or build a house may be squelched. If your body breaks down or you have a child, you may have to abandon old desires and replace them with new ones that can be generated from your present condition.

Western civilization focuses on chasing after the objects of desire, rather than settling into the feeling of desire itself. Living your life from burning desire, but not for anything in particular, is the key to living an inspired life. Desire is the very source of your inspiration and passion. All creativity arises out of this. Take a moment to think of something that you truly desire. Now, without focusing on the object of your desire, simply feel the pure emotion of desire itself. It might be experienced as a thirst or a longing. When you focus not on the satisfaction you will get in the future once you have attained the object of your desire, but on enjoying the creative process of aspiring, you will embody the classic paradox: the journey itself is the goal.

It is an endless juggling act to keep from becoming too rigid and disciplined or overly self-indulgent and comfortable. Most self-help and “power of positive thinking” books teach that you can design and manifest the shape of your life; whereas both Eastern and Western religions advocate a “not my will but Thine” approach. UnTherapy, a system of counseling I originated back in the 1990's, embraces both approaches. The focus of UnTherapy is to give you access to the feelings that you believe your desires will give you regardless of time and space, and then to strategize what needs to happen in your heart, mind, and circumstances to manifest those desires.

True inspiration results in natural enthusiasm, a word which literally translates as “God filled.” If you would like to learn how to enjoy your life as an act of creation, consider joining us for an afternoon of learning how to counsel yourself by using an East/West approach. Come learn how to live an inspired life, allowing your desires to motivate you while at the same time staying present and in the moment.

LEARN TO INSPIRE YOURSELF AND OTHERS
with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
If you are interested in learning how to inspire yourself, your children, your friends, or, if you are a manager, and would like to learn a counseling technique that is appropriate for use in the work environment, reserve a seat at this workshop. You will experience a demonstration of wellness counseling with a volunteer from the audience and then have an opportunity to counsel yourself. For those interested in our more in-depth Counselor Training (information below), this is the introductory class for that course.
Sunday, January 13
1:00pm-4:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
$35 ($40 after January 6)
Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

SUNNY MASSAD, PH.D., created and trademarked UnTherapy®, a conscious alternative to traditional psychology. She is also the President and Founder of the Hawaii Wellness Institute and runs a successful private practice as a wellness counselor at the Hawaii Wellness Retreat House. www.untherapy.com

UNTHERAPY FOR CHANGE (OR PROFIT): THE WELLNESS COUNSELOR CAREER TRAINING AND CERTIFICATION PROGRAM
with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
This eight-week practicum in professional counseling is the popular alternative to therapy for emotionally healthy people simply looking to improve their motivational and disciplinary skills. You will learn practical coaching, consulting, and counseling proficiency by learning how to master the issues in your own life. Whether you want to become a certified wellness counselor specializing in personal development, peer counseling, and life coaching, or you simply want to experience self-acceptance and self-renewal, this course will change your life. Essays and applications will be accepted for this training until January 20. There is a $100 application fee. See the website or call 848-5544 for details.
8 Sundays, January 27 – March 16, 2008
10:00am-6:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
Tuition: $1,499 plus $100 Application Fee
Pre-registration Required: Register Online or call 848-5544

KICKSTART YOUR NEW BUSINESS AS A WELLNESS PRACTITIONER
with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
This seven-week training is ideal for entrepreneurs in any wellness profession who want to start a business as a sole proprietor. This wellness practitioner professional development program is designed to support new wellness counselors or other practitioners to independently launch their careers without going broke. You will investigate and resolve your issues relating to: fears of success or failure, obstacles to commitment, earning your own income, whether to work at home or in an office, marketing on a shoestring budget. You will create your own marketing materials by the end of the semester. Applications will be accepted until January 20. See the website or call 848-5544 for details.
7 Wednesdays, January 30 – March 12, 2008
6:00pm - 8:30pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
Tuition: $899
Pre-registration Required: Register Online or call 848-5544

Meditations for Busy People by Roshani Shay, Ph.D.

My teacher, Osho, used to say that all of the dozens of methods or techniques of meditation, in order to be effective, need to be grounded in the same three indispensable qualities: relaxation, awareness, non-judgment.

First, when you sit down to meditate, make sure that the body is relaxed. There is no need to contort into positions that are uncomfortable. If you do, the body will simply scream for attention through an aching knee or a foot that goes to sleep. Such aches and pains will distract you from a meditative state. It will give the mind things to think about, complain about and this is not meditation. However, relaxation also means making your peace with the activity of the mind, even if it is complaining. Meditation is not about controlling the mind, not about concentration, not about trying to make the mind quiet. It is rather about realizing that while the mind’s job may be to generate thoughts and emotions, you can step back from all of that activity. You can allow it, but not be totally identified with it, or even distracted by it. Therein lies true inner relaxation.

Now, this is where the second quality, awareness, comes in handy. You can take one step back and just watch whatever is happening in your body, in your mind, even in the outside world, as you hear it or feel it when the eyes are closed. In this watching, an interesting insight quite naturally arises. If you can observe your body, your thoughts, your emotions, you are not those things; you are the observer. This gives you a whole new point of view.

Along with the perspective of the watcher, the observer, non-judgment is a critical quality of meditation. Judgments often arise in the mind during meditation. “I am a bad meditator. The person who is making noise outside is so rude. I don’t like just sitting here.” Lots of conversation about what is good and what is bad, what is liked and disliked, may flit across your consciousness. Such thoughts can be a distraction from dropping into a state of meditation, from allowing that state of being where silence and emptiness arise naturally. Or thoughts may simply fade away as you disengage from the content of your thinking and focus instead on your sensory experience, such as, for example, the movement of your breath into and out of your body.

“These are the three things: relaxation, watching, no judgment, and slowly, slowly a great silence descends over you. All movement within you ceases. You are, but there is no sense of ‘I am’ – just a pure space.” Osho

It is this pure, silent space that is the true fruit of meditation. It is this silent center that can allow us to be in our busy, doing lives, but not become trapped in the busy-ness or the doing.

If you are interested in inviting more relaxation, awareness and non-judgment into your own life join us in our upcoming three week meditation series. It is this silent space that we will prepare ourselves to become conscious of as we experiment with practical techniques that can be used every day.

MEDITATIONS FOR BUSY PEOPLEwith Roshani Shay, Ph.D.
Busy-ness and Doing seem to rule our daily lives. Pressure to perform a multitude of tasks often results in tension and anxiety. These cause wear and tear on the body and psyche. Would you like to let go of the tension and anxiety? Would you like to integrate more calm, peace, silence and relaxation into your days? This 3-week series will introduce you to a variety of short and longer meditation techniques from a wide range of sources (Osho, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Joan Borysenko, Pema Chodron, Thich Nhat Hanh, and more) to help you do just that. You will experience guided, silent, sitting and active meditations so you can find the techniques that suit you best. You will have your choice of two books, as well as receive printed instructions and inspirational materials to support your meditation practice. Come share your challenges and find support for maintaining balance in your everyday life.

3 Tuesdays, January 8 - 22, 2008, 6:00pm --8:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
$75 (includes book and materials; $100 after January 2)
Pre-registration Required: Register Online or call 848-5544

Roshani Shay, PhD. is the Executive Director of the Hawaii Wellness Institute and Co-Director of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Programs of Hawaii. When she discovered meditation in 1984, it provoked a major life transformation which included dropping caffeine and cigarettes, perfectionism, and a compulsion for being a workaholic. Roshani Shay has facilitated meditation workshops for more than fifteen years and is widely known for the way she gracefully moves through challenging situations with effectiveness and relative equanimity.

Becoming an Everyday Buddha by Roshani Shay, Ph.D.

To be honorable in thoughts, sincere in words, good in deeds is to have the heart of a Buddha.*

There are several qualities of Buddha that many people, even those who are not Buddhist or who are quite secular, admire and aspire to emulate. As we approach the holidays, it may be a good time to consider weaving a few such traits into your everyday life. The following qualities, for example, may ease much of the stress that seems to come our way this time of year: Centeredness; Non-Attachment; Presence; Compassion.

Centeredness—Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
You find yourself having to do extra work during the rush of the season, kids are hyper, friends and spouses are under as much stress as you are. How do you cope? Your breath is your friend. It is always there, ready to assist you to arrive at that place of peace and calm at the center of your being. Whenever the chaos seems to overwhelm or you feel yourself sliding into an overly emotional reaction take five deep breaths. See if you can breathe from your belly. Feel it swell as you draw a deep breath down through your lungs to the very center of your body and feel it contract as you exhale. Try to make each exhale a real emptying of breath; make it last longer than the inhale, thus making more room for the next in-breath. I guarantee that you will feel more centered, grounded and at peace, as though in the eye of the storm. From this place your actions will flow much more easily and effectively whatever the situation.

Non-Attachment—The contented person, who moves amongst sense objects free from attachment or loathing, gain or loss, wins eternal Peace.
We have so many expectations around the holidays; we especially expect a great deal of ourselves. If we have even the tiniest tendency towards perfectionism it usually reveals itself this time of year. Some people get caught up in wanted to get the perfect present for each person, be the perfect host, cook the perfect meal. The fact is that there is much that is beyond our conscious control. Events and people will be what they will be and we need to realize that wanting to control everything and expecting perfect outcomes is a way of creating our own stress. Could you allow yourself to just enjoy all of the tasks that may be called for this season without worrying about outcomes? Could you try just enjoying the process, without thinking about the end goal? That would surely make for a less stressful time.

Presence—Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Many of us are faced with family or friendship dramas around this time of year. Some may get caught in what happened last year or years ago which resulted in lingering feelings of animosity, jealousy, upset, or other strong emotions. See if you can approach each person in a new way this year. Just imagine that you have no history with Uncle John or Grandma Jane or the friend you argued with last week; you might even imagine that you just met them for the first time. Be with them in each present moment and be open to discovering who they are without your perspective being colored by the past. Angst about the future can also drag us out of the present moment. See if you can eliminate or minimize worry or expectations around the future, both short and long term. Just be as present as possible in each moment and see how much more enjoyable people and events can be.

Compassion—Lovingkindness as Thought is Tranquility. Lovingkindness as Speech is Softness. Lovingkindess as Activity is Altruism. Lovingkindness as Practice is Peace.
You may notice that Uncle John is still a bore or Grandma Jane is still hypercritical or you still find it hard to tolerate your friend’s husband in the present moment. This is the time to practice not only presence, but also compassion. It may be that the very function of difficult people is to give us the opportunity to practice compassion! Try saying silently to yourself: “Just like me these people are doing the best they can, given their personalities and the circumstances of their lives. Just like me each person seeks love and understanding. Just like me each person is a child of the universe. Just like me each person is learning lessons. I wish all people to be blessed with safety, happiness, comfort, and love.” Also try having a lot of compassion for yourself this year! You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Above all, whatever challenges this time of year may bring, always remember that they are transient. Nothing is permanent. It helps us greatly in our efforts to become everyday Buddhas to know that the nature of this world is change and each moment is a new moment in which to be as centered, non-attached, present and compassionate as we can.


*All quotations in italics are from a small booklet entitled Heart of a Buddha (amitabhapublications@lycos.com).

How to Attract Abundance by Roshani Shay, Ph.D.

There were many times when my life didn’t look all that abundant. There were a couple of years when my disabled son and I lived on $2,000 from my graduate school scholarship. Nevertheless, I have wonderfully fond memories of how we created fun at little or no cost during that time. I have always known, somewhere deep inside, that I would always have enough--enough money, enough resources, enough love--in my life. I am not sure where this belief came from or why a young girl from the wrong side of the tracks was so convinced of its truth, but it has been one key to the abundance I have experienced in my life. I eventually ended up making close to $90,000 a year by the time I retired.

Another key to abundance is to have faith in and recognize the fact that the universe always cares for you. Now this is often hard to do, I know. But think about it. Isn’t it true, even though sometimes you don’t understand it until long after the fact, that even the difficult events and situations in your life have moved you to growth through the lessons that you learned? Or maybe they started you on a path to a more abundant life? I recently was told I had to move from a little A-frame which I love, but that very day a relatively luxurious condo showed up for me to move to. You may have perceived events and situations in your life as losses, tragedies or as scarcity, but can’t you instead perceive them as a lessons or even grace at work? Trust the universe to set you on the road to abundance. It provides in so many ways. Can you list ten ways in which abundance has already come into your life?

When was the last time you sat down and made a list, even a small one, of the things you are grateful for? If a belief that you will always have enough and faith and recognition that the universe provides are two keys to a life of abundance, gratitude is a third. When you focus on what you lack or what you dislike in your life, you attract more of the same. When you express gratitude by focusing on what you have and what you like about your life, you will attract more of the same. Take a moment to list five things in your life for which you are grateful. As an experiment, take just a few minutes each day for a week to add five more things to your gratitude list. See what happens when you focus on what you do have, rather than on what you don’t.

Roshani Shay, Ph.D.
Executive Director
Hawaii Wellness Institute
3670 Kalihi Street
Honolulu HI 96819
808-848-5544
hwi@earthlink.net
www.hawaiiwellnessinstitute.org

FAST FOODS AND FITNESS by Sunny Massad, Ph.D

Do you ever wonder how you can manage to get through the busy days without throwing off your otherwise good eating habits? Sometimes it's simply a matter of knowing about alternative food choices. For example, if you zip into a drive - through and get yourself a beef burrito with rice, beans, cheese, and salsa, you've managed to consume 1,120 calories and 35 grams of fat. Substitute that with a chicken soft taco or plain bean burrito and you've spent only 300 calories.

The next time you hanker for a hamburger at 660 calories and 36 grams of fat, consider a veggie burger with low fat mayo for a mere 350 calories and 11 grams of fat and notice how you manage to remain satisfied without sacrificing your waistline.

Do you find yourself starving at the end of the day so you stop in a bar for a beer and some nachos? Nachos with beef, cheese, sour cream and guacamole pack a whopping 1,360 calories and 89 grams of fat (more than an entire day's worth of recommended fat in one sitting!) The beer (or any alcohol) may cause you to throw all caution to the wind, and often that's how the weight piles on so quickly, especially through the holiday season. If you'd like to know what to eat and drink instead, consider joining us for a three-hour seminar on the subject of Fast Foods and Fitness, Saturday, November 10.

HOW TO KEEP FAST FOODS AS PART OF YOUR FITNESS ROUTINE
with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
If you use the excuse that you can't lose weight because you refuse to give up favorite junk foods or sugar, come and learn some practical tips about what kinds of junk food and sweets will give you energy and nutrition without the added pounds. Sunny Massad, a lifetime member of Weight Watchers, has collected low fat and low calorie recipes over the years and will share her easiest-to-make recipes with you. For those who love chips and other snacks that keep the pounds on, you will learn how to either make them yourself, or buy name brands that won't raise your cholesterol or weight. And for those interested in actually getting off desserts and junk food, self-hypnosis will be taught.
Saturday, November 10
:00 - 4:00pm
awaii Wellness Retreat House
(Bring your lunch or a snack, come a bit early and enjoy the grounds and the lanai!)
Tuition: $45 ($50 after October 27)
Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

SUNNY MASSAD, PH.D., comes from a family of women who each weighed over 200 pounds. She enjoys teaching others how eating high fiber, low calorie foods (and that includes snacks, sweets, and restaurant foods) can be a lifestyle that anyone can practice under any circumstances without feeling deprived.

Learn How to Counsel Yourself and Others

Do you wish you had just a few skills to turn negative conversations you have with yourself and others into a solution-oriented problem solving direction, instead of a bitch session? The trick is in asking the right questions. Unconscious questions like "Why does this always happen to me?" often result in negative unconscious answers like "Because you're just not good enough." This kind of thinking can keep you in an endless cycle of chasing your own tail, often resulting in feelings of inadequacy.

Many people find themselves in the situation of being listeners to the suffering of others and often resort to giving advice. If you've ever done that, or had it done to you, you probably already know that free advice is rarely acted upon! The most empowering thing you can do for the person who is feeling defeated, even if it is yourself, is to listen empathetically and ask positive questions that will result in positive answers. For example: "Considering this has already happened or that it is outside of your control, how would you prefer to respond to this situation to insure that you don’t feel defeated?" Even if it's a cancer diagnosis, creative answers that involve being "pro-active" or "focused on quality of life" can replace prior conclusions that may have resulted in feelings of victimization.

Here are a few tips to help you step into "counselor" mode when you or someone you care about is feeling worried or disturbed about something.

1) Accept your life as a work in progress.
2) Focus on forgiving the past, not because the events were forgivable, but because resentment is so toxic to you.
3) Dwell on all you have to be grateful for. It will help you to trust your future.
4) Abandon the need for outside approval. Live a life that YOU approve.
5) Be compassionate with your emotions. It's okay to feel whatever you feel.
6) Value your own uniqueness so you can value the distinctiveness of those you have conflicts with.

If you are a born listener but don't show the same kind of empathy for yourself or if you would like to learn some practical skills to help yourself or others insure a more positive outcome, join me for a three-hour workshop to learn how to counsel.

LEARN TO COUNSEL YOURSELF AND OTHERS with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
If you are interested in learning how to counsel yourself, your children, your friends, or, if you are a manager, and would like to learn a counseling technique that is appropriate for use in the work environment, reserve a seat at this workshop. You will experience a demonstration of wellness counseling with a volunteer from the audience and then have an opportunity to counsel yourself with the technique. For those interested in our more in-depth Counselor Training and Certification program, you will learn about counselor laws in the state of Hawaii, as well as how to apply for a partial work scholarship.
Sunday, September 9
1:00pm-4:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
$35 ($40 after September 2)
Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

SUNNY MASSAD, PH.D., created and trademarked this peer counseling technique called UnTherapy®, which uses the Socratic method of asking questions, to help clients adjust their attitudes and behaviors. This system is specifically designed to be used as a goal setting and strategic planning method that gives the client a personal sense of empowerment and enhances self esteem.

How to Make Peace with the "D" Word: that's "d" for discipline

Clients in my private practice often report that they set goals, say affirmations, dream about the life they want to live, but rarely take the actions necessary to put those dreams and goals into motion. More and more Baby Boomers are beginning to realize that the freedom of immediate gratification they sought years ago does not necessarily result in long-term fulfillment. But regardless of your past, you have the freedom to change the way you think about discipline so that you can turn your dreams into reality.

If you value peace of mind, for example, do you spend your time and live your life in ways that guarantee that your life is peaceful? If you value beauty, do you focus your energy on perpetuating beauty all around you? The quality of your life is a direct reflection of how you spend your time and energy each moment of each day. If freedom is a high value for you, you will need to discover a way to do what you need and want to do in a way that feels freeing. For example, if you want to exercise more, it is helpful to associate a number of positive attributes with the activity; otherwise you won't go. Focusing on how good your body feels during or after the exercise, how proud you'll be for taking care of yourself this way, and maybe how you'll look when you are trimmer and firmer, instead of focusing on the time you'll lose and how you'll have to wash your hair if you exercise, can get results!

You can do and have whatever you are willing to spend time and effort pursuing. Some aspirations require total focus for specific durations of time, which means that other aspirations, including quality of life, must be delayed. But life is like gardening. Once you complete the abrasive earth moving phase and begin the planting and caretaking phases, the garden will require very little time and energy. If it is time to get yourself motivated to do the seemingly unpleasant tasks you've been putting off, this class is for you.

HOW TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE "D" WORD with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
If you have a challenge cultivating discipline in your life, if you make promises to yourself that you don't keep, or find yourself procrastinating about things that are important to you, come and learn to make peace with the “D” word. Discipline is wholesome and healthy when it comes from your heart and when it happens through meditative awareness, instead of through control or repression.
Saturday, September 1
1:00 - 4:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House(Bring your lunch or a snack, come a bit early and enjoy the grounds and the lanai!)Tuition: $45 ($50 after August 25)
Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

Your instructor, Dr. Sunny Massad, has cultivated discipline in her life after years of struggling with debilitating fears that prevented her from moving forward. She will share her inspirational story about how she finally managed to go back to school after 17 years, to buy land, build a house, start a private practice and create a holistic learning Institute. Come learn how to turn your dreams into scheduled goals.

How to Say What You Need and Get What You Want

Anyone who has ever met me might think I've always been confident and assertive, but that is simply not the case. I was so self-conscious and afraid of not being liked that I fainted in speech class at the very idea of expressing my own opinion to people I hardly knew. But as the years passed, I have learned how to identify my fears and compassionately address them so that I can go after what I really want instead of settling for less. Last week's Bizarre Bazaar and High Tea is a perfect example of how powerful the spoken word can be.

When it came time to decide what to do for this year's fundraiser, I clarified what I needed: a fun, creative, low cost event that a small team could put together at the Retreat House. But I didn't really have a clue about what to do. I enjoy having theme parties but until now I have only thrown them for my friends. So when it dawned on me that I could do what I already know how and like to do (throw an outrageous theme party), the creativity began flow. The committee for the event was invited to participate in the project in whatever way would be fun for them, which resulted in an involved, creative, and inspired team of gals. Because we were free to speak up and tell the truth about what we each wanted to do, this project took on a momentum of its own. What could have been a potentially stressful, boring old fundraiser, instead proved to be an alive and lucrative project from beginning to end.

If you have a habit of only knowing what you don't want, or if you want to learn how to speak up for yourself and stand strong in your own convictions without the burden of worrying about what someone else will feel about it, join me for a class that can reverse old patterns of being passive, passive aggressive, or aggressive. Learn how to be firmly and calmly assertive. An assertive person knows how to say what they need and therefore manages to get what they want, which makes for a meaningful and fulfilling life devoid of guilt and shame.

by Sunny Massad, Ph.D.Originator of UnTherapy

How to Say What You Need and Get What You Want with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.
The fear to speak your own truth can inhibit your ambitions, diminish visions for a positive future, and curb your ability to speak up for yourself. The fear to speak up can destroy fortunes, opportunities, relationships, and, if left unchecked, can even destroy your own happiness and well-being. Worst of all, being unable to ask to get your needs met may empty both your bank account and your heart. If you suffer from a too timid approach to life that prevents you from getting what you want, come and learn how to build the courage to assert yourself.
Saturday, August 25
1:00 - 4:00pm
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House (Bring your lunch or a snack, come a bit early and enjoy the grounds and the lanai!) Tuition: $45 ($50 after August 18)

Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

Sunny Massad, President and Founder of the Hawaii Wellness Institute and Originator of UnTherapy, was in private practice as a hypnotherapist before getting her Ph.D. in psychology. She attributes most of her own personal transformations to her consistent use of meditation and hypnosis and to having studied under enlightened masters, including Osho, who taught that assertiveness was a personal responsibility to your own soul.

Being Present

BEING PRESENT
by Roshani Shay, Ph.D.

Being fully present to any single moment, truly being HERE NOW, is as easy as being aware of the next breath, and as difficult. Try a small experiment. As soon as you finish reading this paragraph, sit comfortably and begin to watch your breath coming into and going out of your body for several minutes. You may want to focus on the air as it passes through your nostrils, or on the rise and fall of your chest, or on the expansion and contraction of your belly—whichever feels most natural. Be fully present to and aware of your breath in any moment. Start now.

Be honest--how long did your presence and awareness last? Two breaths, six, ten, twenty? How long before your attention was distracted by a sound, a sight, a memory, a body sensation, a thought? Now imagine (or perhaps it is your experience) that you are also in pain—physical, emotional, and/or mental. This really challenges your ability to be present to the totality of each moment. It may seem that all that exists is the pain and that it will last forever. I know this from my own experience with bodily ailments and mental/emotional anguish. Such maladies can feel all-consuming and they don’t seem to allow for much peace in one’s life.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “What you resist persists?” That seems to be particularly true of pain—it won’t be suppressed or ignored without intensifying or maybe popping up at some other time or in some other place in the body. The next time you are in pain in some way, try another experiment. Instead of focusing on the breath, focus on the unpleasant sensation, whatever it may be. As you breathe your way through it one moment to the next, you may notice that the sensation changes. You may realize that it rises and subsides, appears and disappears, just like the breath. And you may notice that it is not the totality of what is present. A moment in pain can also be a moment in which there is also much else to enjoy—the breeze on your skin, the warmth of the sun, the smell of a flower, the song of a bird.

My own goal is to be as mindful as I possibly can of the totality of what every moment of my life offers. I may not be able to get rid of my pain, but I can work with it, accept it, become friends with it, know that it is only a small part of my life experience.

If you would like to experiment with this process of mindfulness as it can relate to stress, anxiety, emotions, relationships or pain itself and see what changes it might bring in your life, I invite you to join me for the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Come to the Introductory Evening on Wednesday, July 25, to get a taste and find out what the full eight-week series entails. You may, as I did, just find your life transformed by this work.

AWARENESS AND RELAXATION: THE MINDFULNESS-BASED STRESS REDUCTION PROGRAM
with Roshani Shay , Ph.D.
Are you plagued by chronic pain or stress? Then this program is definitely for you. It was created by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, author of Full Catastrophe Living and Wherever you Go, There You Are. Two decades of published research indicates that the majority of people who complete the program report: an easier time relaxing; less pain and better ability to cope with pain that may not go away; greater energy and more enthusiasm for life; improved self-esteem; and an ability to cope more effectively with stress. This experiential program includes meditation, gentle yoga, journaling, dialogue, reading, inquiry exercises, a text, and CDs. Learn how to take charge of your own healing in new ways, or pass the techniques forward to others in need.

Introductory Workshop: Wednesday, July 25, 6:00 - 8:00pm
Tuition: $20

Full Program: 8 Wednesdays, August 1 - September 19, 6:00 - 9:00pm and a Saturday Retreat, September 8 10:00am - 5:00pm

Eldercare Hawaii , 2909 Lowrey, Suite E, Honolulu Tuition: $400 (includes book and cds; $425 after July 25)

Pre-registration Required at least four days in advance: Register Online or call 848-5544

Roshani Shay , Ph.D. is the Executive Director of the Hawaii Wellness Institute and former Co- Director of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Programs of Hawaii . When she discovered meditation in 1984, it provoked a major life transformation which included dropping caffeine and cigarettes, perfectionism, and a compulsion for being a workaholic. Roshani Shay has facilitated meditation workshops for more than ten years and is widely known for the way she gracefully moves through challenging situations with effectiveness and relative equanimity.